NaBloPoMo Day 20!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
What was the most important gift you ever received?

I'd have to say that the most important gift I have received is my GPS unit.  Such a small piece of technology has brought me so many incredible memories, and more important, friendships, through it's use in geocaching.  

Another boring day around the house today.  Had a MONSTER headache that kept me in bed most of the day. About 1PM I finally started to feel better, and by 3PM, it was gone.  Was looking forward to doing some things this evening, but as always, that didn't work out.  So, Brad is off with the kids, doing their thing, with my van, and here I am at home still.  Did I mention this was my ONLY night to Christmas shop for the kids?  I haven't been able to get them a single gift until today, and now I can't go.  This is gonna make for a VERY bad Christmas season.  I am off Thursday, but our attempt at the first and second round of the homemade gifts failed miserably.  We think we have it figured out now, but that means the only time that I am going to be able to get together with the kids to do it again is Thursday, due to my work schedule.  I'm screwed.  

So, like has been the norm lately, I blew up.  I guess I've just been pushed and pushed and pushed so much that all this tension inside me builds up, and eventually comes out in the form of a temper tantrum.  I'm just tired of it all, being stressed about money, not having money for gas to even get to work to make money, not having money for Christmas, constantly being nagged from the homefront, inability to find a better paying job...I'm just exhausted and ready for Christmas to be over.  

This is also the first year in my entire life that I won't be at my moms on Christmas.  We have to do it Christmas Eve this year, due to my brothers girlfriends schedule.  This also means my oldest daughter and my grandson won't be able to attend.  I'm crushed.  For the second year in a row, I don't get to spend Christmas with my daughter.  I realize compromises need to be made, but it's hard when you've done things 1 way for 35 years, and all of a sudden they get changed.  The one norm in my holiday season is that I got to go to my moms on Christmas.  

This also means that I get to wake up Christmas Eve, drive 2 hours to my moms, stay all day and most the evening, drive 2 hours home, plus an additional 20 minutes because I have to go straight into work.  I get to spend a few hours there, dragging the tired, worn out, kids along, then go home.  At this point, probably around midnight, I have to get the kids in bed, and then wait for them to fall asleep.  Then I get to play santa.  Eventually, probably around 3AM, I will finally get to go to bed.  I'm sure the kids will wake me up nice and early, for presents.  I get to rush them through that, because I have to turn around and be back at work, again, by 8AM.  

So you can see why my holiday season isn't being very "merry" at all.

shortly after starting this rant, it came to me that I can just shop for them before work tomorrow.  BUT...I still have to find time to WRAP everything.  Add that to my list of stresses.