What goes up....

Must come down.  But how far "down" does it have to go before it can go back "up" again?

I'm just frustrated.  I'm at a frustrated part of my life.  I'm just...ugh.

Trying like hell to pick up more hours at work.  Brad and I are down to one vehicle, and it is going through a gallon of water every 10 miles because the radiator is leaking so bad.  We just don't have the money to get it fixed.  I just need an easy solution, like....a winning lotto ticket, because I, quite frankly, am out of freaking ideas here!  His quick answer is "get another job"!  Well, anyone attempting to find work right now knows how not easy that is.  In addition to the fact that it has to work around my other job, and his schedule...because we only have one (or half of one) car anymore.

UGH

On the bright side, it is owl banding season.  On the downside of that...the weather has SUCKED for owl banding!  We need cool, clear, calm nights.  We've had 60+ MPH winds, rain and clouds all but 5 nights that we have attempted to owl.  On those nights, we had either winds, clouds, or combinations of.  We have gotten 2 owls all month.  They predicted record numbers this year, and it's just not the case.  It makes for some VERY long nights.  Long, boring nights.   I just really hope that after this latest storm we get a HUGE crop of owls in the nets, and we can gather LOTS of data on them...because there are a lot of people trying REALLY hard to make them show up!

Oh...and my gall bladder is acting up again...

A few pics from the funeral procession

On Tuesday, I set out for a bike ride, to enjoy what nice weather we have left.  My ride was cut short when I realized I was on the direct path of the funeral procession for SPC Jim Butz.  (see previous blog).  I rode home quickly, grabbed an American Flag and a camera, and went back to wait.  I sat there for 1.5 hours waiting, but there was no where else I wanted to be.  I stopped taking pictures when the hearse came to view, out of respect for the soldier, his family and friends.  But here are a few pictures.  Again the wave of emotion came.  Awe, patriotism, respect, sadness, loss, heartbreak....pride.

A Somber Day

On September 28th, 2011, Chesterton, Indiana lost a son, to the war in Afghanistan.  I'm not going to get off on a political rant here, most of you know my take on the war already.  But this moment effected me in ways I never thought possible.

On Saturday, October 8, 2011, SPC Jim Butz was returned to Porter County.  I really wanted to be along the procession route, to pay my respects, but being that I was heading out of town and relying on someone else for transportation, it wasn't in the cards.  Or so I thought.

After a side trip to Albanese Candy Factory, we started heading out of town, via the road that runs along side the airport.  And there I saw it.  Countless First Responder vehicles, 250 motorcycles from the Indiana Patriot Guard....I asked my "driver" to please pull over.  My heart had hit the ground at this point.   I sat in the car for a few seconds, and just had this overwhelming need to get out.  At this point, the roads were lined with people stopping to pay respect.  There were a few that were "annoyed" that the road was closed, holding them up.  I just wanted to yell "GO TO HELL" at them.  But I didn't.  I stood in silence, other than my weeping.  Tears overcame my view.  It was one of the most powerful, somber, sad, patriotic feelings I have ever experienced in my life.  I wanted to run over and shake the hand of every single person in that procession.  I wanted to hug his family.

I wish that I could have done more.  I wish that I could have been dressed head to toe in American Flag attire.  I wish I could have told them I was sorry for their loss, and thank them for their sacrifice.  I couldn't.  I just hope that they saw all of us, paying what respects we could, and find some comfort in that.  In the fact that so many care.

I can never put in to words what I felt that day, standing on the side of the road.  It's a wave of emotions that us, as humans, never expect to feel, never fathom we can feel.

R.I.P. SPC James Butz, 21, of Porter, Indiana, 2009 graduate of Chesterton High School.  You gave your life to protect mine, and my families.  There is no way I could ever begin to repay that.  But I hope somewhere you are looking down and knowing that I really do mean it when I say thank you for all you gave. You died a hero, your honor will live on in all of us.

Out with a bang, dammit...

I'm 6 days shy of turning a whopping.....nother year older.  It's been a year of ups, and downs, and wonderful memories, and things I'd like to forget.  And as "the day" gets closer, I was actually beginning to get a bit excited about it.  And then it happened, all of it happened...

Hot water heater broke
fridge broke
sliding glass door broke (on going issue)
dryer broke (another on going issue)
still no word back on unemployment OR public assistance
many online applications filled out, not one single call back
Brads car breaks down, leaving us with only my van, and both working at times that this isn't feasible for us

and then the whopper....my van broke down.

My van broke down and I'm terrified it's a cracked block, or blown head gasket, or something really, REALLY serious, and there is no way we can afford this.  My 2 week paycheck this week was a kick ass $153.00. Yes, you read that right.  One hundred and Fifty Three Dollars and NO cents, for two WEEKS worth of work. (and by kick ass I mean WTF?!?  That can't seriously be a CHECK!!!???  I feel ass raped)

And in the end, we are screwed, big time.  And I understand the strain this puts on the household, me only having the one job now.  But, I wish people (person) could see that this is NOT the type of lifestyle I want, and I really hope things start to turn around soon, and I'm just as stressed out as they are, and I didn't BREAK my engine on purpose, and well... FUCK MY LIFE right now!  This is SO very much not where I saw my life being at ?? years old!

I seriously, SERIOUSLY need a lottery God, and I need him NOWNOWNOWNOW.

So, if any of you are wondering what to get me for my birthday....a winning lotto ticket would be PERFECT!!

Fall why you come so fast?

For some reason, this is just always a crazysuperbusyholyshit time of year for me.  I am blessed that 75% of that crazysuperbusyholyshit time of year is spent with friends, though! 


This past weekend we hosted our 7th Annual Geocachers Campout.  This event is where I met many of my friends, years ago.  I love this event, and for probably the first time in its history, we had great weather for it.  save a few rain drops.


This year it seemed to take on a different meaning, and I don't know why.  All I can think is that because we had a smaller group than we have in the past, we were able to get cozy around the campfire, toss back a few drinks (not enough to get hammered) and just...get to know each other more.  And I freaking loved that.  I learned a LOT about some of my very best friends that I hadn't even known yet.  When all the "getting to know us" was done, it dawned on me that it had been sprinkling on us the entire time, and none of us even noticed.  We were just that in-tune with each other, and that is pretty damn cool!


We ended the weekend by hosting a C.I.T.O. in the park, which is basically just a "geocacher volunteer day", where we donate our manual labor to the park, as a thank you for all they have done for geocaching.  (www.geocaching.com)  We spent our volunteer time clearing lanes for our upcoming Northern Saw-whet Owl Banding Season.  (www.projectowlnet.org)  Today, Brad, Carl, Paul and I went back out and attached the nets to the poles.  It's getting CLOSE!  This means I need to catch up on my sleep now!  I certainly won't get any after we begin.  Owls fly at night, and we work during the day, so it's some long...sleepless months for us.  (forgive my future grouchiness and temper tantrums!!!)


This weekend I go to Angola to visit with Brads mom for my early birthday lunch.  I look forward to seeing her, she is one of the sweetest, kind hearted women I know.  Then the following weekend I head right back there for a weekend with my friends, camping in Katie and Freds yard, and hopefully a bonfire with some more "getting to know us" chat sessions.  It's how I will be celebrating my 6th Annual 29th Birthday, and I can't think of a better way to do it!  




So...I don't know how much time I will have to blog the next few weeks, but I will try and sneak some time in there somewhere.  Though, with the severe sleep deprivation, it might just be best I don't.




Amber






(Amber, why is it you choose to stay up all night and play with....owls?  That's simple...who could resist this face?)  

Fully grown Northern Saw-whet Owl

(photo copyright Amber Edwards)

Owls and puppies and kittens, OH MY!

Had a pretty busy weekend...kayaking with a group of friends, and then Wizard of Oz Festival with the kids Sunday.  You'd think I'd have a ton to blog about, but my mind had just drawn a blank, which is what usually leads to me abandoning my blogs early on.  Then it hit me...

While at work tonight, I decided to take my friend Katies son, Jeremiah, on a photo tour of my work.  I work at an Animal Hospital, and I know a lot of kids find what I do "interesting" and "cool" and, well...fun.  We board animals at the clinic as well, so we have a constant flow of furry traffic through our doors.  While we have our "regulars", we have new faces every day.  I love my job.  So in tonights blog, I am going to share with you who we have with us as of today...and introduce you to each one....fasten your seatbelts.

This is the photo that started it all.  I'm always a bit excited to see an owl come in, sadly it's always because they are injured.  This is a Barred Owl, and all I know is that she was a HBC (hit by car) case.  We think she has head trauma, but we are hoping we can treat her and release her.

These are Max and Cooper.  They are brothers.  Turns out, Max is a bit "anxious".  He runs in circles, all day, all night.  Last time he boarded, he managed to eat his tail, nearly off!  His brother is much calmer, but HATES water.  Any time I turn on the hose to fill ANY water bowl or clean a kennel or floor, he freaks out!  I feel bad for him, because we use the hose a lot!  Both are VERY sweet dogs!

This is Merlin.  Merlin is with us through a Shar Pei rescue group, boarding until she is better and can be adopted out.  She is suffering from a stomach parasite right now.  When Merlin first came to us, she had been in a Chicago shelter for several months.  She was obviously abused, and had wounds from fly bites, as well as an imbedded collar.  She also tried to eat me.  And Dr. Steve. And she terrified me.  Merlin was just very scared.  We moved her to a larger kennel and she is MUCH happier.  She is still very scared around new people, but she bonds VERY quickly with those she sees often.  She has perked right up and is one of my favorite dogs now.  She has learned "sit" and "shake" and is just so full of energy and excitement and just loves to be loved!  

This is Bella.  She doesn't want to be here.  She is the only dog I've ever seen that has managed to whine WHILE eating too.  She is SUPER sweet, but man she wants to go home!

Molly is a sad case.  She has been with us since September of 2010.  Her owner is terminally ill, and goes back and forth from the hospital to hospice.  Molly is VERY old and suffers from several medical issues, including severe arthritis.  The owner elects not to use humane euthanization, and instead for her to continue to board with us.  Molly gets TOTALLY spoiled, as evident with the little sweater we keep on her so she doesn't get a chill.  You probably can't see it too well, but both sides of her kennel are lined with different foods, just to keep her happy.

Belle and Butter.  They are just....awesome!

Bo and Cassie, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.  I always wanted a dog of this breed.  They are SO cute, and soft, and loving, and, well...I just wanted one.  Until I got this job.  Then I learned about all the medical issues associated with this breed, and several other reasons.  So now I get to love all over the ones that board with us, and I am perfectly alright with that!

This is Lily and she hates us.  She hates being here.  And I have NO clue what Lily actually looks like because she hates it here so much that she will never, ever, come out of that corner.  I feel bad for her.

Kitty Kitty.  He hangs his head in shame, because his owner had nothing more clever than "kitty kitty".  He is a cool cat though!

Wilma.  She is another HBC, but she lives at the clinic.  She only has one eye, and she can't see out of it.  She is the sweetest cat, and TOTALLY spoiled.  To the point that she gets the window kennel, to see the birds...yet, she is blind?  She has her own special bed in the pharmacy so that she can be around people all day too.

Yo...dats Tom.  Tom Cat.  He got his nails did.

Azreal.  He is having surgery tomorrow, but I didn't look to see what for.  He is another super friendly cat, despite his grumpy face here.

These are the resident Chinchillas.  Zilla is in the top photo, Chewy in the bottom one.

Geezer, the resident Bearded Dragon

Elenor and Tooter.  The OTHER resident Bearded Dragon and our tortoise.

Pebbles and I can never remember the other name...Resident Tortoises.

So, this is what I get to work with every day.  It's a fun job, despite some of the messes, and as you can see, I always have PLENTY of company!

edited: Per Ms. Katies request, this is the crazy beatch that works there:

gotcha again, katie

Freezing my ascot off...

Tomorrow I will (wo)man my flotilla and head down the St. Joe River, on our annual "Caching to the Max" geocache run.  It's a series of geocaches placed on islands down the St. Joe River.  Obviously, the only way to get to them is by boat, or in our case, kayak.  There is a group of us that go, and we always have an incredibly good time.  I just don't ever remember it being this damn cold when we do it!  We usually take water guns, water toys, swimsuits....make a day of relaxing and keeping cool on the river.  This year I'm trying to figure out how to rig a battery up to my space heater to keep me warm in the kayak!


Which brings me to an interesting season.  I HATE COLD WEATHER!!!!  I hate EVERYTHING about it, except one thing.  This is the peak of my geocaching season, and it's when all the "get-togethers" with my caching friends happen.   September and October are booked solid of gatherings of cachers, and I couldn't be more excited about that.  It's what I have to look forward to each time the leaves start to fall.  Time with friends, laughing, telling stories, hanging out and just being....friends.  True friends.

And that is one of the things I love most about my relocating to another state.  Geocaching has introduced me to a group of friends that are probably some of the closest relationships I've ever formed in my life, and if I wouldn't have moved to Indiana, we probably never would have met.  

I just wish that they lived somewhere warmer....