Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Untitled. On Purpose.

And I went to him, so out of breath from crying that the words could hardly escape my lips. I felt as though a thousand pounds was currently resting on my eyelids, pushing them closed atop the gallons of tears streaming from them...and down my face. I just needed someone to let me cry. And he responded by telling me that I was selfish. That he had had a long day at work, and I was simply using my mothers diagnosis to try and get sympathy from him. And he couldn't have been further from the truth. And despite all of the months of affairs, and lies and meanness.... It was this one action that made me realize that this was never going to last. It was at that moment that I realized that I had loved this man far more than he ever deserved to be loved by me. By anyone. It was at that moment that I realized that out of the two people in this room...I was the 50% that wasn't selfish. I don't want to be anything more than someone else's "happy". I want to have someone who understands that sometimes a woman just has an emotion and she needs to cry it out. Not because she needs sympathy, but simply because her heart is hurting. It wasn't for sympathy. Maybe I was just testing you to see if you were worthy of my love. You weren't.

1 comment:

  1. Grr the worst part is I'm not surprised by his reaction. I really wish it would have been shocked by the opposite. You are totally right. He doesn't deserve your love....at all.