Wednesday, February 1, 2012

For when he unto, a nothingness became...

I remember that line, from a poem my mom once wrote. Couldn't tell you how many years it's been since I read it, but for some reason, that one line always stuck with me. I can't remember much else, but that has seemed to discover a way to stay locked in my brain. Weird.

I haven't blogged in FOREVER, and it honestly has been driving me nuts. No internet connection at all at home anymore. One of the kids told me that it was requested of the neighbor to lock their internet so I could no longer use it. Oh well, so be it. I now have no television, no internet...and I've watched every movie in the house at least a dozen times. I'm slowly losing my mind, and to be honest, any will to do anything. I can't job search/apartment hunt, without internet. I can't afford the gas to be driving all around doing it in person. And from the sounds of it, my federal tax returns may be garnished (whatever they call it) for unpaid medical bills. I'm in a funk, and it doesn't look like there is much of a way out of it.

Not much else is going on in my life, to be honest. Still working, still loving my job, still not making enough to survive. Caiden turned one yesterday, and it got me to remembering when he was born. The day he arrived, we got hit with one hell of a blizzard. We were snowed in at the hospital for nearly 4 days. It took us forever to get home, because the snow went higher than the car we were driving. It was insane. Yesterday, on his first birthday, it was nearly 60 degrees out. Beautiful day! We didn't have a party planned for him, it's just too hard with my current living situation, and finances. But will get together soon for cake, presents, etc.

Brad leaves this weekend for Cuba for 2 weeks. While we don't talk, or do anything together, it is going to seem odd without him here. I can't help but worry about him while he travels, mostly given where he is traveling to. I'm sure he will do fine, as he has made this trip before, but I do wish him safe travels, and can't help but be a bit jealous of his getting to go again. Especially because he is going to be traveling to a Sea Turtle nesting site....OMG, I SO want to see that!

Anyway, hope all of you are well, can't wait to be able to blog a bit more often. It certainly helps clear the mind. Not having someone in the home to "release my thoughts" onto, I guess I sort of came to depend on blogging them out!

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you found time to update. Not glad about the stuff in your blog but what can we do about that? I can't believe they could take the whole amount. That sucks. Love you and hope things change for you soon.